Breaking bad

On Friday, April 24, my wife had a sonogram checkup for our new baby. Usually, I am able to go to these appointments with her. Each session is a celebration as we see the life growing inside Kara on the monitor and hear the baby's heartbeat through the speakers. I enjoy watching our child grow through the different stages of pregnancy, until eventually we meet face to face on the day of their birth. Unfortunately, events conspired so that I was not able to go with her. She called me after the appointment, and was a little shaken up. It turns out the tech had some trouble finding the baby's heartbeat, and mentioned some irregularities. Since we've experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, things that seem small to others are not to us. The OB checked Kara and the baby, looked at the sonogram, and said everything looked fine, but did mention that we could have a blood test done to make sure everything was okay. As Kara and I discussed it, we decided to have the test, called Verifi, performed. We would know more about our baby and the gender weeks earlier than expected.

A few days later, Kara dropped me off at the airport for my flight to Kenya. I was doubly excited since I was headed to a new place, and would return to news of a boy or girl. The days went by quickly, and I deplaned on a Thursday morning, expectant to hear news of my baby. I discovered that the doctor's office had not called yet, but was not worried. Friday morning rolled around with no call from the doctor's office. We moved through the day, waiting to see the OB's number pop up on our caller id. Finally, around 4 pm the phone rang. Our OB was on the other end, and she was very nice, but I could sense hesitation in her voice.

She was very gracious, courteous, and professional as she informed us that our baby had tested positive for Trisomy 21, otherwise known as Down's Syndrome. She immediately informed us that everything else seemed good, the tests weren't 100% accurate, and there was a small chance that it could be a false positive. As we ended the phone call, emotions coursed through both of us. Excitement about our child. Gratitude that the baby was healthy and yet some sadness at the news that our child most likely has Down Syndrome. Immediately, worries arose. "Will we be able to meet the needs of our child?" "What if the baby has heart or kidney problems, or another serious defect?" "What will I do if someone mocks or ridicules our child?" "Will our little one be able to live independently?" "Will she be accepted by others, including extended family members?" The fears, worries, and selfish concerns all swarmed in my head and heart.

Psalm 127 tells us, "children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." In Psalm 139 one reads, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Through the evening, we called our parents and family members to tell them the news and ask for prayers. There were tears, reassurances of love and support, and joy over the life of another grandchild! That night, Kara and I spent a few moments praying to the Lord, thanking him for the blessing of a new child, her health, and asking that she be protected from any dangers faced by Trisomy 21. We also asked that, if possible, our child could be healed and not have Down's Syndrome. Yes, it sounds and feels selfish for us to pray that, but we're in good company. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus did pray that if it was possible, God’s wrath could pass from Him, but he asked for God’s will to be done. That’s what we will continue to pray.

Did we receive bad news that Friday morning? Some may consider it bad news, but we will rejoice in the gift of a child. In our society’s rush for perfection, we lose sight of the importance of all people, made in God’s image. People are judged by their contribution, their production, and their ability. But that’s not God’s ideal for us; the ideal is found in our being. That’s why salvation is through grace, not by any work we do. With all of our foibles, imperfections, and weirdness, God views us as valuable because we are. Christians are his children, and completely accepted by him (check out Colossians 1:21-22). You see, what bad news was for One, turned out to be good news for others! Our new child, a gift from the Lord, is good news! We will rejoice!

Look on the bright side

Runners and marathoners place stickers on their cars to let everyone know how far they have run in competition? You may have seen the little white ovals that say 13.1 or 26.2 and not realized what they were for, but now you know. The other day I saw a meme on Facebook that had the 13.1 and 26.2 stickers, but if you looked at the fine print, it read “13.1 hours: my longest Netflix binge,” and “26.2: the most oreos I’ve eaten in one sitting.” While I’m not quite the definition of this meme, I can certainly relate to it, and am a lot closer to the Netflix binge than I want to be! I justify it by thinking to myself that Netflix is cheaper than running. Read that again; Netflix is cheaper than running. I’m not talking about a gym membership, but running down the roads and trails. That might be free, but running gear isn’t! Granted, I haven’t put pencil to paper, but I think the per show cost of Netflix is cheaper than the per mile cost of running!

Needless to say, I watch Netflix. For those of you who have known me a long time, you know that I enjoy science fiction, particularly Star Trek. I grew up watching the original series most afternoons, then Star Trek: The Next Generation. For a span of several years, new series spun off of the Star Trek name right and left. I tried watching one or two, but just couldn’t get into them, and ended up dropping my commitment to Star Trek. Maybe I was a Trek purist, or I obtained my driver’s license and found better things to do. Either way, for several years I didn’t even think about Star Trek.

Then Netflix came along with instant streaming. Lo and behold, one day I found Enterprise in my suggestions menu. I decided to watch it, and enjoyed the series. I slowly worked my way through it all the way to the end of the series. (I’ll admit that I thought it was actually pretty good, unlike a lot of the other Trek spin offs that are as cheesy as the original.) Needless to say, over the past few years I’ve worked my way through Enterprise, Voyager, and the Star Trek movies. (I tried watching the original series and The Next Generation again, but just couldn’t do it. Too much cheesiness, I guess.) I am finally watching Deep Space Nine, and enjoying the series. The Dominion/Federation war has just begun, so don’t spoil it for me if you know how it all ends.

Why wasn't he ever on Star Trek?

Needless to say, most Star Trek series have the same characters. The strong commanding officer, the straight man, the single ladies’ man, the gung ho security type, the ultra-handy engineer, the pessimist, and the eager youngster. On DS9, the pessimist is the station’s chief security officer, Odo. He’s always the negative one of the bunch, finding the “cloud in the silver lining,” as one character told him while I watched the other night.

I’ll admit my guilt: I’m really good at finding “the cloud in the silver lining.” I don’t know if it’s my problem-solver attitude, a learned behavior, or just a pessimistic nature, but I have to battle against it. No one wants to be around a wet blanket, including the wet blanket! So I work to “keep it light.”  That can be hard to do in today’s world. The news revolves around the latest perceived crises, public figures of all stripes are proclaiming doom and gloom, and social media is littered with bickering dialogues of extremism. Fortunately, the world goes on as people everywhere live their daily lives, going to school, work, raising families, socializing, and participating in community activities. (If there were ever an argument for hope and the persistence of the human spirit, that alone is it. Media and public figures can drum up crises all day long, but the rest of us have to work for a living and keep society moving.)

You have to find some relief somewhere! Laughter is good for both the soul and body. According the pundits, there isn’t a lot to laugh about, so sometimes you have to create your own. Therefore, my dog has a fan page. The Pete Holmes Fan Club currently has 34 fans, and posts every few days. I use it as a form of stress relief, creating some opportunities for laughter and fun. Also, Pete is the coolest dog ever. Weenie dog, happy attitude, cute and snuggly, somewhat playful, and as laid back as can be. I like to post some funny pictures, dachshund jokes, a little cultural commentary, and of course, pictures and comments from Pete himself (or at least my imagining of Pete’s comments).

Some people like to laugh at me for creating a The Pete Holmes Fan Club, but I don’t mind. The point is to create laughter, and it’s doing that. Proverbs 17:22 tells us “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” In other words, laugh! Laugh long, laugh loud, and laugh hard! King David, who saw some hard times, even wrote in Psalm 16 “in Your presence there is fullness of joy.” (He’s talking about God’s presence, in case you didn’t know.) In a sense, when we laugh with joy, we align ourselves with God’s will. We show that we trust Him; and His sovereignty; and his plan for our life.

When is the last time you had “fullness of joy?” Maybe today would be a good day to look on the bright side.