Breaking bad

On Friday, April 24, my wife had a sonogram checkup for our new baby. Usually, I am able to go to these appointments with her. Each session is a celebration as we see the life growing inside Kara on the monitor and hear the baby's heartbeat through the speakers. I enjoy watching our child grow through the different stages of pregnancy, until eventually we meet face to face on the day of their birth. Unfortunately, events conspired so that I was not able to go with her. She called me after the appointment, and was a little shaken up. It turns out the tech had some trouble finding the baby's heartbeat, and mentioned some irregularities. Since we've experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, things that seem small to others are not to us. The OB checked Kara and the baby, looked at the sonogram, and said everything looked fine, but did mention that we could have a blood test done to make sure everything was okay. As Kara and I discussed it, we decided to have the test, called Verifi, performed. We would know more about our baby and the gender weeks earlier than expected.

A few days later, Kara dropped me off at the airport for my flight to Kenya. I was doubly excited since I was headed to a new place, and would return to news of a boy or girl. The days went by quickly, and I deplaned on a Thursday morning, expectant to hear news of my baby. I discovered that the doctor's office had not called yet, but was not worried. Friday morning rolled around with no call from the doctor's office. We moved through the day, waiting to see the OB's number pop up on our caller id. Finally, around 4 pm the phone rang. Our OB was on the other end, and she was very nice, but I could sense hesitation in her voice.

She was very gracious, courteous, and professional as she informed us that our baby had tested positive for Trisomy 21, otherwise known as Down's Syndrome. She immediately informed us that everything else seemed good, the tests weren't 100% accurate, and there was a small chance that it could be a false positive. As we ended the phone call, emotions coursed through both of us. Excitement about our child. Gratitude that the baby was healthy and yet some sadness at the news that our child most likely has Down Syndrome. Immediately, worries arose. "Will we be able to meet the needs of our child?" "What if the baby has heart or kidney problems, or another serious defect?" "What will I do if someone mocks or ridicules our child?" "Will our little one be able to live independently?" "Will she be accepted by others, including extended family members?" The fears, worries, and selfish concerns all swarmed in my head and heart.

Psalm 127 tells us, "children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." In Psalm 139 one reads, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Through the evening, we called our parents and family members to tell them the news and ask for prayers. There were tears, reassurances of love and support, and joy over the life of another grandchild! That night, Kara and I spent a few moments praying to the Lord, thanking him for the blessing of a new child, her health, and asking that she be protected from any dangers faced by Trisomy 21. We also asked that, if possible, our child could be healed and not have Down's Syndrome. Yes, it sounds and feels selfish for us to pray that, but we're in good company. In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus did pray that if it was possible, God’s wrath could pass from Him, but he asked for God’s will to be done. That’s what we will continue to pray.

Did we receive bad news that Friday morning? Some may consider it bad news, but we will rejoice in the gift of a child. In our society’s rush for perfection, we lose sight of the importance of all people, made in God’s image. People are judged by their contribution, their production, and their ability. But that’s not God’s ideal for us; the ideal is found in our being. That’s why salvation is through grace, not by any work we do. With all of our foibles, imperfections, and weirdness, God views us as valuable because we are. Christians are his children, and completely accepted by him (check out Colossians 1:21-22). You see, what bad news was for One, turned out to be good news for others! Our new child, a gift from the Lord, is good news! We will rejoice!